In recent days, Paul Tudor Jones has gotten some harsh criticism about his comments about moms in the workplace. He said that having children was a "focus killer" for women. You can read more about his comments here.
Let me start by saying that my degree is in communication. If you know much about a degree in communication, you know that I was blessed to take many, many classes about feminism, gender stereotypes, equality in media and the workplace, etc. etc. This post goes against all of that.
It does go, however, with everything I feel, love and believe is right about being a mother.
When I first heard about this incident on the news and saw all the women offended by his words, it took me a minute to form my opinion. As a good little PR student, my instinct was to also be offended. But then I thought about my boys. And, here comes the shocker, I get what he's saying. I don't want a mob of angry mamas leaving me grouchy comments, so let me explain.
Am I grateful that I live in a country where women are free to do the same things men can do? Absolutely.
Do I think Jones was saying women are not as capable as men? No way.
But do I believe that being a mommy can change you? Oh you betcha.
When I was pregnant with my first little one I was in my last semester of college. I had big plans for when I graduated. They included a corner office with a framed picture of my sweetly smiling infant perched on the corner. To the people who know me now, you will be utterly shocked, but I actually looked into daycare!
Then it happened. When I looked into those beautiful brown eyes that cold January morning, I knew my life would never be the same. I didn't care if I never made another dollar or if no one years from now knew my name. I wanted to never leave that brown-eyed baby ever again. And three years later, I haven't, much.
Now I am not saying that no woman or no mother should, or more importantly, could, hold these jobs, but I'm just saying maybe we should cut this guy some slack. Do we have it all wrong in this country when we start to think that a mother being changed by the most precious gift of a child is bad? Do we have it wrong to make women believe that they should not be affected by the loving gaze of a sweet baby or feel instantly devoted when he, as Tudor said, "touched that girl’s bosom?"
I understand the issue with the implication he made, but sometimes I think we are afraid to take off our feminist hat and put on our mommy hat and the one who suffers is that big-brown-eyed baby boy.
I am proud of the mamas who work outside of their home to feed their families. I am even more proud of the mamas who say, "This kid's a 'focus killer' and I'm staying home." Be confident in what your heart is telling you is right, mamas. And be courageous to make the decisions that aren't always popular in this nation if they are right for you.
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